Windridge - Identify. Develop. Retain.

3 Steps for Overcoming Failure

I read a post recently that stated: “For most businesses, failure is one of the most feared results possible,” and I thought to myself, for most business yes, and also for many people. Failure is many times the divider between those who succeed, because they persevere, and those who don’t succeed because they succumb to what they perceive as failure (when maybe they’re only one step away from success).

Personal failure typically causes you to first look for excuses (in everyone and everything besides yourself) and second (and more deadly) blame yourself and let the set-back rob you of the mental energy to pick up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward.

Growth is about risks…and risk includes failure.

So how do you fail and yet keep your enthusiasm and perspective intact?

1. Fail quickly
   Okay, you failed…is it life threatening? Probably not, take inventory, examine what went wrong and why, and then start to strategize how to get back on your feet and back to your project quickly. Many times this will be as simple as “doing the next thing” and not letting yourself become distracted by the downward spiral of negativism.
2. Accept that failure includes valuable lessons learned
   Take time to understand why something didn’t work. Seek solutions outside yourself. Is there someone else who may be able to shed light or offer a viable perspective or solution? Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to reach out.
3. Learn from your weaknesses and find your strengths
   Be willing to look squarely at your contribution to your situation–positive and negative. Be willing to learn from, and modify if necessary, areas you are weaker in by talking to someone you feel comfortable with (a coach, or manager, or colleague). Use this person as a sounding board for your “next step” actions. As you work with them, learn to identify your strengths and use both strengths and weaknesses to identify and adopt new successful habits.

Understanding why or how you failed can help you avoid making the same mistake again. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again, but expecting different results. Use your failures as prompts to identify next steps for desired changes that will assure personal / professional growth.

If you need any help with this process, feel free to contact me at lindsay@windridgeconsulting.com

Image: istockphoto

Knowing is Not the Same as Doing

Knowing what to do is not the same as doing it. You can have all the intent and knowledge in the world, but until you put that intent and knowledge into action it really does you no good. I read once that “The world is full of broke geniuses,” you know, the folks who “know it all,” but never link action to their wonderful ideas or dreams.

To keep yourself from falling too deeply into this trap, start the practice of spending time each week identifying and reviewing what your next steps around your desired outcomes will be.

Here is what it looks like:

• Identify a short term goal – personal and / or professional
  This can be a behavior / habit you want to modify, a project that needs to be completed, etc.
• For each goal, address three areas:

1. Goal – The difference between where you are currently and where you want / need to be. What will this look like when you have arrived?

2. Theme – What are your main objectives along the way? What are the obstacles? What are the support systems you will need to have in place to succeed?

3. Ideas – How will you achieve this? What, or who, do you need in place to help you make this happen?

Next, set weekly, monthly, and quarterly objectives, and break them down into doable actions.

Here’s how:

• Weekly Goals:
  Where are you now—where do you want / need to be?
  What do you need to have completed by the end of the week?

   Ideas:
   Actions:

• Monthly Goals:
  Where are you now—where do you want / need to be?
  What do you need to have completed one month from now (or by the end of the month)?
  
   Ideas:
   Actions:
   
• Quarterly Goals: (Be sure to put a completion date on these!)
  Where are you now—where do you want / need to be?
  What do you need to have completed by the end of this quarter?

   Ideas:
   Actions:

Touch base with your list of short-term goals on a regular basis; keep them where you will see them if not daily, at least every couple of days. By doing this exercise, and reviewing it at least weekly, your main objectives and desired learning outcomes will actually start to be accomplished.

"Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines." - Brian Tracy

 

Image: istockphoto

 

 

Coaching: Who Sets the Agenda?

Half way through an intense coaching session this afternoon I had a client say: “I’m sorry this session is all about me. I didn’t mean to set the agenda.”

I had to laugh, actually out loud, because my main goal in coaching is to meet my clients where they are at that moment in their work issues or personal challenges. Any agenda I might have had as a coach (think of a bullet pointed list of questions) takes second place to real-time personnel issues, project management complications, employee communication issues, etc.

I once heard an executive say: “Coaching provides a safe place for a visible leader to unwind, learn accountability, and implement behavioral change.” I couldn’t agree more.

* Also, note to self - client said it was one of the best sessions!

** Photo credit: istockphoto

6 Steps for Handling Difficult People

We all have them: business colleagues, bosses, family members or friends who, for whatever reason, are “difficult” people to get along with. Let’s face it, they push our buttons, and these folks can turn a perfectly good day into stress, frustration or inferiority with a dismissive look or caustic remark.

As with all things “people” the only person you have control over and can change is yourself.

Here are six steps to help you maintain perspective.

1. Learn to ignore annoying and / or irrelevant comments. Don’t continually relive and replay unintentional hurtful or mean comments or actions; let them go.
2. Choose (if possible) when you will expose yourself to a known offender.
3. Make communication simple and to the point when communicating with someone who has the potential to derail you.
4. Identify before interacting with your difficult person what your response(s) will be, and don’t let yourself be pulled off track by emotional responses.
5. Learn to rephrase your ideas for clarity. Miscommunication is at the heart of many people’s frustrations.
6. Adapt. Sometimes people are difficult for us to work with simply because we don’t try to understand and/or adapt to their style. You may want them to change their style for you, but in fact, it will actually increase your value as a leader and communicator if you can learn to adapt yourself to others.

Learning how to manage yourself first, will make you an asset wherever you go. Please share any other techniques you have found useful for managing the difficult people in your life.

* Photo credit: istockphoto

What Are Your Employees Saying?

Sometimes when initially looking at a prospect, who has contacted me for coaching or hiring help, I’ll check out Google or Glassdoor and see if I can find any employee reviews. These reviews many times provide a quick “behind the scenes” peek into the culture, and possible challenges facing the company.

For example - Here are some comments I came across when I recently checked out a client.

Pros:

• The pay is good for the amount of work you perform. It is not stressful and most people leave work between 5:00–6:30 p.m.
• Great place to work at if you want to start a family or want a work-life balance. The company has very nice people and communication is fair.

Cons:

• Training is very poor. This is the type of place to work for if you're satisfied with a 60–70K salary with little to zero goals.
• This is a company with employees that have stayed for 10-plus years so don't expect they will accept new ideas. Management is reluctant to change.

Advice to Senior Management: (I wonder if senior management ever read this?)

• There needs to be better communication between different teams.
• Listen to your people.

What do you notice? Do you see a company reluctant to adapt to changes, who also may have difficulty engaging their people? What three areas appear to be ripe for improvement?

1. Listening 
2. Communicating effectively
3. Training around professional development (which typically includes communication skills!)

In pointing this out my question is: What are the comments your employees are making about your organization? If you are the leader are you continually listening to the “pros” the “cons” and any “advice to managers” and then acting on it? 

 

One of My Favorite Weeks of the Year!

“Chronologically we’re at the end of the year but the beginning of the journey.”
Sarah Ban Breathnach

This week is one of my favorite weeks of the year! It’s the week between Christmas and the New Year and it’s a perfect time to take a short “time out” to pause and reflect. Even with family in town for the Holidays I’m still trying to spend snippets time thinking about the past year,what worked and what didn't, and then shifting my focus to the coming year and identifying what my “theme” for the New Year will be. When January 3rd 2012 dawns, after all the house-guests have gone home and the house is wholly mine again, I will sit in quiet reflection recording the challenges and successes of 2011 and all of my forward hopes and dreams for 2012..... Perfect!

If you don’t start, You won’t arrive… Anonymous

Use the questions below to map your course for 2012:

2011

• For the past year what was your overall theme?
• What were your three biggest wins personally?
• What were your three biggest wins professionally?
• What were the three top lessons you learned?
• What was the one personal quality that you developed in 2011?
• List the ways this quality helped you both personally and professionally.

2012

• Looking forward, what do you want the overall theme(s) of 2012 to be for you?
• What are your top three personal goals for 2012?
• What are your top three professional goals for 2012?
• What personal quality do you most want to develop in 2012?
• List the ways that this quality will help you move forward both personally and professionally.

May you take the challenges of 2011 (and there have been many) and move forward into 2012 with confidence and courage!

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Behavior Change: One Step at a Time

I admit that the task of setting personal (behavioral) goals or benchmarks can be a bit daunting. I mean, why can’t people just love and appreciate us the way we are? But for your personal and professional health, identifying behaviors and setting attainable goals is life changing.

Identifying current behaviors sets a starting point from where to chart your forward progress. Without identifying current behaviors one is left in the dark about what I like to think of as, “Behavioral improvement opportunities.” This lack of insight makes it easy to fall into the bottomless pit of repeated poor behavior and discouragement. “This is the way I’ve always been and the way I will always be” thinking can cause you to dismiss how your behaviors are affecting your outcomes. Professionally and personally even a slight positive shift in behavior can bring enormous personal satisfaction and professional momentum.

It can be really difficult to know where to begin, what to do, what needs to be modified or even, what is perfect as is but you’ve been unaware it was an asset.

The following are the stages of personal change:

1. Unconscious - Incompetent
   "I am unaware that I don't do this well."
   (Blind spot)
2. Conscious -  Incompetent
   "I know that I don't do this well."
   (Self-awareness of the need to change)
3. Conscious - Competent
   "I do this well only when I think about it."
   (Transition from awareness to action by modeling others who do this well)
4. Unconscious - Competent
   "I do this well all the time.”
   (Permanent behavior change — high performance by reflex)

There is never a reason to feel inferior during this process, rest assured; we all have strengths and areas needing improvement. You are not alone.

The important things to do:

• Identify current behaviors – behavioral assessments, 360 surveys and coaching can help with this.
• Make note of your areas of strength and your “room for improvement” behaviors.
• Identify and clarify three actionable steps for capitalizing on your areas of strength.
• Identify three actionable steps for modifying those areas needing improvement.

Also, please remember that behavioral change takes time, sometimes twelve to eighteen months. Don’t give up when those around you don’t immediately respond positively to the “new you!” It’s only when your new behaviors are repeated over time that others will begin to trust and accept that real and lasting change has taken place.

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently.”  Warren Buffett

If  you would like help with this process, please contact Lindsay at Windridge Consulting.

Where Organizational Change Begins

Change is difficult. Change takes time. And change requires an honest look at not only your team or organization, but at yourself.

When you make educated hiring decisions and bring smart pro-active people into your organization, never neglect the task of developing your current workforce at the same time. I can guarantee, if you bring functional, behaviorally fit people into a dysfunctional workforce there will be fallout. And it will most likely be the functional people walking away or the dysfunctional forces causing descent toward the people who could provide the positive uplift that is needed.

There was a game we used to play within youth groups... One person stands on a chair and then the group tries to pull that person down, while at the same time the person on the chair is trying to lift the others up. What do you think happens? I will tell you – it is much easier to pull someone down than it is to lift someone up, especially those who don’t want to be lifted up.

Make sure you put time, effort and energy into your current workforce and leadership teams to help them improve (be sure to deal straight on with any dysfunction you find). At the same time, set your hiring standards (competence = behaviors + skills) to help bring in behaviorally fit individuals.

When you hire a pro-active “great fit” candidate and then a couple years later you tell me how he / she started out great but slowly “went downhill” my question will always be: “What has your culture, your leadership, etc., done to this individual?” You cannot bring good people into dysfunction and expect them to have influence if you are not at the same time “owning your stuff” and working to develop your current workforce. 

Another analogy (and this is my favorite) is about a husband and wife who are receiving marriage counseling. During the husband’s session he proceeds to tell the counselor all about how his wife is so annoying, she does this and she doesn’t do that, how he still lives with this annoying woman is beyond him... and no matter what he asks she simply seems to ignore him.

The counselor listens intently and then asks the husband: “Was she like this when you married her?”

“Oh no!” the husband replies. “When we were married she was the sweetest thing, we had so much fun.” On and on he went to describe his wonderful bride.

The counselor became quiet and then looked squarely at the man and asked: “What has living with you done to her?”

Change starts with yourself, then with your people and then with the people you are bringing into your organization. It’s something to think about.

What Makes A Great Coach?

Are you thinking of becoming a coach? Are you setting up a coaching program within your organization? There are common threads that great coaches possess.

To get started, think about the following questions:

• Does being a competitive “A” player make someone a great coach? 
• Do years of corporate experience produce great coaches? 
• Does position or title mean a person will be skilled at coaching?
• Do strategic thinking skills and drive guarantee that a coach will be great? 
• Does working in a specific company or industry (leaving burned out and bitter) make a person who now wants to coach a skilled coach for that company or industry?

The answer to all of these questions is – no!

Great coaching is unique because it requires skill, temperament and the ability to listen. As well as the ability to reflect back, identify unseen or unspoken behaviors (assets and liabilities) and the courage to not shy away from fierce conversations when necessary. Great coaching creates accountability in those being coached and helps champion their success. 

Coaching provides a safe place for leaders at every level to unwind, learn and practice accountability and implement behavioral change.

Years ago when I decided to become a coach, I realized that being coached was the best place to begin my journey. I selected a large, well established training / coaching organization and prepared myself for—being coached! Unfortunately, or actually fortunately as it turned out, my first experience of being coached was a study in frustration and led me to realize that if what I had received through this  large, well-respected coaching organization was considered “coaching” then I was going to be great at this! 

One of my peeves with my initial coaching experience was that I always had the feeling my coach wasn’t tracking with me and I’ve found over the years that this is fairly common. Her approach felt more about “getting through the appointed questions” and most importantly, staying within our 30-minute timeframe. Now, I’m all for punctuality and I’m a stickler for respecting time, plus I like things straight forward and to the point, however, that type of approach took the human connection right out of the coaching experience.

During that initial coaching engagement my father went through surgery for an aneurism in his aortal artery. Understandably this was a very stress-filled time for me. A few days after my father’s surgery we had our weekly 30-minute session and to my amazement there was no mention of: “How is your dad doing?” or “How are you holding up?” It didn’t need to be a long drawn out conversation, however, an acknowledgement that she had actually heard my present situation would have been fantastic. I let it go, but was amazed that throughout our coaching engagement my coach never followed up on my “stuff,” things that had been brought up the week before. It was as if my issues were of no consequence.

This interaction helped me form an opinion: I want my coaching sessions with others to include:

• Listening deeply and always focusing on the client. 
• Taking detailed notes.
• Always spending a moment following up on the previous week’s session.

Since that early encounter I’ve read countless books, attended seminars, received my coaching certification, coached various levels of professionals, watched other's coaching styles and listened to their perspectives. 

Below is what I have identified as common practice with great coaches, they:

• Listen Deeply.
• Reflect back.
• Focus on behaviors and do not become influenced by charisma or personality.
• Do not answer emails or engage in any distracting online activity while on a coaching call. 
  (One would think this would be obvious, but I could tell you stories.) 
• Allow for prep time before the coaching call or session begins. 
• Follow up on both successes and challenges.
• Have fierce conversations when needed. 
• Build accountability into the client.
• Keep detailed notes. 
  (I have had coaches who kept no notes and every session was more like two friends conversing, pleasant, but I wondered why I was paying for conversation; I have friends for that!)
• Remain flexible. 
• Schedule coaching time appropriately. 
  (Some sessions may need to run five minutes over and at other times only brief check-ins are all that is necessary.) 
• Create an independent person who moves forward and away from the coaching experience with confidence.
• Act human.

If you are a coach, or if you employ a coach, what additions would you make to this list of “What Makes a Great Coach?” 

(photo: istockphoto.com)

Learn From the Past and Move Into the Future

Chronologically we’re at the end of the year but the beginning of the journey.
Sarah Ban Breathnach

One of my favorite weeks of the year is this week between Christmas and the New Year. For some reason it seems the perfect time to take a “time out” to pause and reflect.  I’m spending this week thinking about the past year, successes and challenges, and then shifting my focus to the coming year and identifying what my theme for the New Year will be. Then on January 1st I will sit in quiet reflection and record all of my thoughts..... Perfect!

If you don’t start, You won’t arrive… Anonymous

Use the questions below to map your course for 2011

2010

• For the past year what was your overall theme?
• What were your three biggest wins personally?
• What were your three biggest wins professionally?
• What were the three top lessons you learned?
• What was the one personal quality that you developed in 2010?
• List the ways this quality helped you both personally and professionally


2011

• Looking forward, what do you want the overall theme(s) of 2011 to be for you?
• What are your top three personal goals for 2011?
• What are your top three professional goals for 2011?
• What personal quality do you most want to develop in 2011?
• List the ways that this quality will help you move forward both personally and professionally

''Don't be too cautious; take a chance! If you wait for perfect conditions, you may end up living a timid and diminished life. The prospect of failure always exists and it is painful and often embarrassing when we do fail. But it is better to fail while striving for something adventurous and uncertain than to say, ''I won't try, because I may not succeed completely.'''' Jimmy Carter

May you take the challenges of 2010 (and there have been many) and move forward into 2011 with confidence and courage!

“The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.” Ivy Baker Priest